can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
