I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
