3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm both gender and math confused
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
