just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
