Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
