i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
