i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
