Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
