Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
