Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
