I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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