is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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