First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
