I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
