i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
