First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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