pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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