i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i came on her dog
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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