I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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