Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
