i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
