I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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