dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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