he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
