Just fell off a train. Bad.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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