i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize
