It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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