so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
