I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
