I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
