Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i already hear my dad disowning me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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