She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
