..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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