Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
