Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
