One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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