When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
