Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
vagina is talking i cant
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
