I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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