she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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