Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
