Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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