Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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