Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she pinky promised me she was 18
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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