I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
