I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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