nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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