Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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