You just made me feel so damn special
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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