dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
