ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
