We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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