What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
