There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
