lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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