Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
