just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
